I recently began blogging about some of my amazing paranormal travel experiences at haunted and historic places with the main goal of sharing this unique and cool look into our haunted history with everyone. Before writing about the next haunted location, which I can tell you is the top of my list for scary experiences, I want to tell you more about who I am, how I’ve arrived here on this haunted journey, more about my psychic medium abilities and how I am being guided to use them.
Also, all my fabulous followers on twitter voted for this topic next and I aim to please!
My History and Growth into the Paranormal:
I come from a rather large family that was higher than average on the dysfunctional scale. I am the youngest of 5 daughters and I have a half-brother who I only met in recent years. There are 12 years difference between my oldest sister and myself – meaning she was a teenager while I was growing up. As a young girl, I really didn’t spend a lot of time with my older sisters aside from the one that was closest in age to me. She was 4 years older than me (I say was because she passed away over 10 years ago now) and I will call her K here.
K and I grew up close and she was very protective of me. I didn’t understand as a young girl why but looking back I now understand it all very clearly.
I was different. Ok, I still am to be honest but, really, who isn’t?
As a child, I was often disengaged to my surroundings and the people around me, spending my time “daydreaming” or playing with my imaginary friends, off in my own little world. I knew many things about people and events that I had no business even understanding, let along knowing and I had absolutely no idea I wasn’t supposed to speak up. If someone was excited about something, you could count on me to tell them if it wasn’t going to pan out or if things were going to work out differently than they expected. Frankly, I was a downer at times and I was way too serious for a child. I now recognize those “side-eyed” looks or the odd energy I would get from people – I freaked them out a bit. I was this serious-minded little girl that could see right through the stories people told me. And I had a big mouth. My sister K became very protective of me – for this and to protect me from some of the dysfunction. But we all have a path to walk in this life and lessons to learn and she couldn’t protect me from mine.
The first real haunting experience I recall from my childhood occurred at a farmhouse my family rented. This was quite an experience and became a bit of a legend in my family. While the stories became obviously embellished over time, I recount my very real memories of our time there here: https://wp.me/paqIPF-5V
This experience shaped me, and I learned that not everyone can see the things I could and that most would not accept it. As I grew up I did not actively engage spirits and grew very adept at ignoring them. However, I always, always relied on my gut instinct – especially when it came to people or situations. I now know this “gut instinct” is spiritual guidance. Although I didn’t always listen, I knew very well when I was jumping on the wrong path. My unique insight into people, as well as moving around often as a child, made long lasting, deep relationships tough. It is hard to learn to trust when you can see clearly what is going through someone else’s mind or you can know right up front how things are going to end. So, I learned to block myself somewhat and tried not to look into people’s lives. I also naturally began to block their emotions – which equated to blocking people in general. I was not and am not easy to get to know. In fact, most people that know me have never heard what I am telling you today.
Life Altering Message:
When I was 12 years old, I received a very strong and very clear message that rocked my world and truly broke my faith in my abilities for a long time. I was told, through a profound sense of knowing, that my mother was sick – very very sick. And that she was going to die, painfully. I knew that I was going to have to live without her and I knew that the path ahead was going to be very difficult. I was terrified and sick over it. I still did not truly understand what I was seeing when I saw it, or how to explain or understand this profound sense of knowing. To me, it was just a normal part of life and without exception, it was true. Even then, I didn’t believe I could know something like this if there wasn’t a larger reason behind it. So, I tried to confide in my mother.
The result was about what you would think – she became mad at me or at least I interpreted her fear as anger back then. I spent weeks terrified and crying over what I knew and at times I still have nightmares about it. Having this knowledge changed absolutely nothing. When I was 14 years old my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed away shortly thereafter. The day we received her diagnosis, something significant changed within me and with my abilities. I actively shut down – shut down everything. I stayed closed up tight and rebelled against anything that my gut told me to do. I was angry. Very angry.
I share this not to depress you or for pity, we all have a hard road to walk at times and large obstacles to overcome. I share this to explain why it took me so long to accept my psychic abilities and begin to use them at all.
My anger lasted for quite a long time, longer than I care to admit. I did not share any of this with my husband. Or with my friends. I do not share lightly today, if I am honest. But turning away from what is natural to you becomes exhausting and it takes a toll on you physically and mentally.
Eventually, I became very interested in the paranormal. With young kids, a husband, a home to care for and a career to build, I was only able to explore this interest through the paranormal shows for a long time. The very first show I loved was Paranormal State. I was intrigued with the way they not only investigated but they researched the history, included psychic mediums, and offered solutions to help with the haunting. Next, I found The Dead Files with Amy Allen and I began to open up slowly.
During my years of fighting myself, I fully admit that I was often skeptical of psychic mediums. I had gone to a few over the years with friends and I always came away thinking – well I could do what they just did. Can’t everyone? It wasn’t exactly that I doubted their abilities or their validity, but since I had been actively lying to myself for years, I did not understand that not everyone could see these things.
I began to recognize a different perspective on things and something began shifting in me – I started to admit, at least to myself, that there was a lot more to me than I was accepting.
Then I lost my sister K and my world shifted again. I had always thought I was very different in my family but after my sister passed, I began to understand that I wasn’t the only one that may have some unique abilities. I had two very profound experiences after K passed that I share here: https://wp.me/paqIPF-7B
Although I didn’t realize it at the time (do we ever), all of these little things were guiding my stubborn self on a path forward. I had spent years actively trying to avoid my journey, doing everything in my power to shut my true self down, but it soon became clear that I was meant to do something more.
This clarity came when I pushed myself into an outing my best friend had planned. At the last minute, I made her call and get me a seat at a gallery event with a local psychic medium. Completely out of character for me (wanting to go to this event, not the pushy – everyone is quite aware of that) she was surprised but agreed.
This was the night I met my mentor and friend – Rich. He is a self-taught psychic medium whose approach is so loving and so very authentic that I was beyond intrigued immediately. I love the way he delivers his messages – kind, loving, authentic and true. I witnessed a side to these readings I had not let myself see before. And when my parents came through to Rich and he delivered a soul healing message to me from them – one that was so specific it took my breath away – things changed significantly for me.
I began mentoring with Rich and providing readings, on a voluntary basis. I also joined some of his gallery events and delivered healing messages that I received to attendees. Through his mentoring, I learned to trust myself again and trust the messages I was receiving. I also began to understand that these abilities did not have to be a negative, life hampering thing for me. I could find a path that allowed me to use these psychic gifts and help people, even if it was only in some small way. I could give back and make a tiny difference.
Today, I spend my time learning about varying belief systems and volunteering with a paranormal group – http://www.pcinj.org
I am working on growing and understanding my abilities and what they mean for my life. I will provide voluntary readings from time to time for some especially in need of healing as well.
I have learned to always, always be authentic and true. This is a work in progress for sure – some of the things I see can be considered a little crazy, even to me – but I wouldn’t “see” it if it wasn’t important in some way.
One of the most common questions I am asked – how do I receive messages? This is not an easy thing to explain but I give it a shot here: https://wp.me/paqIPF-7v
We are all on a journey in this lifetime, one where we are meant to learn lessons and grow our spirit. I know one of my lessons in this life is about self-acceptance and I am making progress.